An Open Letter To The World
Knock it off. I keep desiring to re-enter the world of political satire now that my writing has matured since my last job as a satirist. Truly, I would love to undertake such a sacred art again. However, you keep doing the very things that comes out of my sick and demented imagination. There is a difference though. I regard these ideas as comical in their absurdity and pitch them to rolling eyes and nervous laughter. You on the other hand see them as brilliant moments in policy and put it to a vote. How can I survive in such a world?
For example, today one of your more enlightened nations was reported to be putting the rights of animals to a vote so that they could have lawyers and be represented in court (I even provided the Times article here). That’s right, in the same nation where you outlawed minarets and denied a people one of their basic rights of religious freedom you will grant the power of attorney to Babe so that he can take Farmer Brown or the dog to court. How can I compete with that? I am running out of ideas and you are denying me a job. Oh well, I suppose I can write about Republicans being concerned about deficits after eight years of drunken spending…oh wait.
The Catholic Coffee Drinker.